Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
