party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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