we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Alive.
So much puke
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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