Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
