I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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