Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
