are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
