i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We need to get me chipped asap
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize