he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
