I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
