I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
