Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
