just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
