There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
