Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
