We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
