Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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