Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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