i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
My Sexting was not on an AP level
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
