I'm really into asian looking animals
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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