So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
