I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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