haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
