This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
