Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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