I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
