he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
