I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
