I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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