Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
