when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
