Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
