I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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