she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
