if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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