I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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