So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
