yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
