Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
