big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i need to put some appletini on your dick
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
