i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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