If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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