I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
