After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
