You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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