You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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