so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
