Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
