apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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