Got a toothbrush?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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