I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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