you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
