You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
