Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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